LA TOYA JACKSON

Broken links fixed, erectile Friday, Oct. 2, 5:15pm PST

LA TOYA JACKSON – 2 live sets (1989-199?)

Stay with me here on this one.

I’ve been systematically going through entire discographies of bands and acts that I should’ve gotten around to by now, but somehow have neglected. Did the Rolling Stones, front to back — rough in some major spots, actually kinda like 1986′s “Dirty Work” LP, more so than some of their ’70s stuff (but everything else after it is worthless flushable garbage, to be sure). Did Stereolab, front to back — the early and middle stuff is fantastic, but everything in the past 5 years is completely interchangeable, with no exception (listening to their last few LPs back-to-back made me wanna stick the barrel of a loaded pistol into my mouth.) Judas Priest, Grace Jones, Iron Maiden, Queen, AC/DC, Hall & Oates — I’ve been tackling a significant amount of material, and I feel good about it.

And then there’s La Toya.

When trolling though listings for discography torrents on The Pirate Bay one night, La Toya Jackson’s name popped up. After 2 days of waiting, her entire recorded output was sitting in a neatly organized folder on my desktop. I was anticipating something along the lines of Amanda Lear — and guess what, I kinda got it. La Toya’s stuff isn’t quite as balls-out ridiculous as the work of an Italian transsexual retardedly talk-crooning in an accent as thick as rubber cement, but it’s halfway there.

First off, La Toya can’t sing that well. Whatever — neither can half the people played on the radio right this second (thanks, auto-tune!) But there’s also a janky, 99-cent store “song-poem” quality to her albums that’s undeniably entertaining. That, coupled with the fact that she’s a much more famous performer’s stunted little sister, makes for some good times indeed. But, dear readers, there was another part to this torrent I’d downloaded that was even better — the live recordings.

To put it charitably, La Toya’s no Michael. In the recordings below, she sings nothing but covers (of both MJ and Prince!!!!, among others,) she’s frequently out-of-breath during her inane between-song banter, and the whole thing smacks of a cut-rate Branson family matinee. What’s not to love?

La Toya Jackson – “Live In Poland”, 199? (ZIP file)
La Toya Jackson – “Most Famous Hits: Live At Bally’s”, 1989 (ZIP file)

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1,797 Responses to LA TOYA JACKSON

  1. one shouldn’t tackle so much of one artist in a sitting. sound dust and, especially, chemical chords are first rate to be sure; especially when compared to other releases of a similar ilk.

  2. Marisa says:

    Hey! I think the links are broken. Coulb de just me

  3. Sivalinga says:

    La Toya! Live! In Poland!
    If it was a snake, it woulda bit me!
    The GENIUS of it!

  4. ken vail says:

    you sure sound like a music snob at times…all the stones lp’s have some good songs, it’s such a cliche how everyone thinks some girls is the last lp to have good songs on it….but hey to each his own

  5. bret says:

    ken vail, you’re actually defending Voodoo Lounge and Steel Wheels? Have you actually heard them front to back?

  6. ken vail says:

    yeah i like some of the songs on them, is that a crime or something? i didn’t say they were masterpieces, i like some of the tracks….keith’s songs are great…maybe there’s a bit of nostalgia for me since i saw them on each of those tours…..

  7. ken vail says:

    btw i didn’t mean any harm w/ what i said, your blog is always fascinating and i love exploring the non-mainstream side of music……i just have been a die-hard stones fan for most of my life, it all kind of started w/ them for me and led to more esoteric things i listened to later on…..

  8. Justin says:

    so uncomfortable. the “banter”/needy pleading with the polish audience is almost unbearable. i wish there was video of the couple she dragged onstage to dirty dance and of what “sheen” looks like.